wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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