ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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