Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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