so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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