I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
