Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
