Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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