just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
