I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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