I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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