Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
