Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
