I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
