Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I licked your asshole in confidence.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
