If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
