Well douche your snatch and let's go!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
