I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
