Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
