i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
so much tequila, so little girl.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
