I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
