I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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