just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
