guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize