Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
accomplished twins. life is a go
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
