i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
