i jhust puked up my retainher.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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