I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize