why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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