i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
