Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...