We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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