so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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