what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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