big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
