I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
