I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
