ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
