my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
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