im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
