found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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