next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
