omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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