his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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