I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
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i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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