Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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