I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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