Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
