There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
