YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think people are normalizing furries
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize