Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
