how can u be prego again
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
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