Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
