in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
