im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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