I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
