If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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