Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
