I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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