just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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