I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
where does the pee come out of this thing
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
