im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
