Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
