Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm really busy with my period
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