She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
