I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
