It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
