even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize