i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
